Damnit Samsung, Seriously?

What’s the matter with these you-know-whats over there in Korea? Google handed them the torch last year to make the flagship Google phone, THE Google phone, the Nexus S, and don’t get me wrong, fantastic phone, but ho-lee-crap did they drop the ball on the batter lid cover thing. A pain to get off, you had to dig your thumbnail in it and sort of pry it open. Real pain in the balls when you gotta pop that lid, unless you have no intention of sealing it back up.

HTC’s Nexus, the first one? That lid slid, that lid slid, baby, and right off the way God intended. Like buttah. The Taiwanese, hands down, are leading the lid race of mankind. Samsung? Not much of a removable phone lid race lead over Apple from where I’m sitting after seeing this bullcrap, gotta say.

But I could tell from other promising features of the Samsung Nexus S that they would manage to hang onto the Nexus torch for round three based on a few noteworthy things about the phone and their general array of tech stuff, and though there were some deficits, like the battery lid – yes, other things, but I’m talking about battery lids now buddy, I figured they’d polish those deficits out come round three. Like the lid for example.

I bought my Samsung Galaxy Nexus the other day (well my wife did but that’s besides the point, other than that I am a lucky man), and you’re not going to believe this but these deficits? Yeah, they fixed some of them but c’mon Samsung, apparently all at the expense of an *even worse* battery lid. Much worse! I unbox the phone, the grand unboxing, coworkers watching in a mixture of vicarious excitement and amusement, I spend minutes, several minutes maybe, possibly five – I don’t know man I lost count, trying to wedge this flimsy stupid battery lid and snap each little stupid lid tab into its slot, hoping I’m not breaking any of the little lid tabs, worried if I do will Newegg hook me up with a lid if I break it or if it’s already broken oh no I should have gotten the insurance … argh damnit!!!

Stupid lid.

Long story short, I got the lid on eventually and if I weren’t so distracted by the aye-holes who obviously made this lid just to pee me off I would maybe mention that the phone is pretty nice and toss around some superlative adjectives along those lines. But why would a company spend resources in designing a lid to piss me off more effectively than they did the last time? It’s plain cocky if you ask me, them thinking “Yeah, our Nexus is so awesome this time that this guy will love it no matter how excruciatingly impossible we make it to seal the lid, so let’s have some fun with this.“

No, wrong Samsung, making the next Nexus isn’t happy fun grab-ass mess-with-Simmons time. Make the damn phone right, head to toe, no funny business with the lids. Holding the Nexus torch is an honor, so act accordingly, including when it’s time to grind out a new lid. You’re on thin ice Samsung. Don’t push me, I will blog you so hard you’ll cry like little girly-men. You heard me.

Can’t say I’m a big fan of the name either, the Galaxy Nexus. Sounds a little expansive and grandiose, galaxies and quasars and supernovas, but I suppose it’s a small step up from the Nexus S. What’s that anyway, the S. I don’t know about the latest name being a step up or down step though, it could go either way… Yeah, the new name could go either way, but the lid? The lid could go to hell as far as I’m concerned.

Doug Simmons