I can’t even drop a load without this damn phone going nuts

I made a huge mistake – I went to take a crap and I left my phone in my pocket. As I handled my business it’s going off like a machine gun between emails and IMs. It’s supposed to be a fortress of solitude in there. Instead it made me realize how angering this always-connected world is. I mean, I just want a few minutes without getting hammered. Long gone are the days of getting 50 emails a day. Now we’re at 50 emails an hour and it’s nonstop. Want to know why the cancer rates are so inexplicably high? The rent is too damn high and our stress is too damn high. That’s my bet.