Author: Doug Simmons

Fruity By Awe InspiredOn 4/24/2011 3:43 PM, Doug Simmons wrote:

Murani, you butt snorkeler, your Focus’s specs are on par with my Nexus but you’ve got the WP magic. So what exactly can it do that mine can’t?

Chris Leiter:

Netflix?
Sent from my iPad 2

Doug Simmons:

Okay fair enough, Netflix, and by the way Chris, nice of you to help Murani since he was too busy using the WP pole smoking app to chime in with this big point.

So Netflix! You get shows like the Sopranos, True Blood, Big Love, Boardwalk Empire and HBO’s movies as you would with this, right? Anything else to tip me toward WP for my next phone?

Wrestling_07Murani:

The Android marketshare has and continues to grow larger by the day.  Thats alot of $$$$$ being stripped from the economy and only grows as Android undoubtedly continues to gain marketshare because of their multiple price point strategy. In any case Android is penetrating the market rapidly not because of Android but because of OEMs and carriers competing against each other and offering smartphones at ridiculously low price points.

Simmons its simple.  When has Google ever been out for the good of the user. To be clear standard Metro UI FTW!!!!!!!!!

Matt Anderson:

Who gives a shit about UI standardization. And “a lot” is two words you serpent socket. Go get touched inappropriately.

Doug Simmons:

Howard Stern did a Sirius smartphone app promotion campaign. Given that he didn’t say anything about their not having bothered to make a version for WP, and given that your phone’s smart in the buzzword sense, guess you have that one too, so it’s a draw. Glad to know you guys get to enjoy Howard (or Oprah, whatever) and it’s not just me and my people and the Apple and even Blackberry posse.

Well wait a second, could you confirm that? When you get snubbed, you only get snubbed by the Bing guys, right Murani?

You semen demon.

Doug Simmons:

Okay so by running the quantity not quality OS I am missing out on Netflix. Is that really it or is there anything else you can do with your Focus that my Nexus isn’t awesome enough to provide you with were you, Jah forbid, ever to get stuck with it? And no I don’t mean getting stuck with something in what you might see as the good way you douche nozzle.

Colby A:

You said douche nozzle! I’ve never heard anyone but me use that. Sweet. Now im nit the only one
Sent from my Windows Phone

redneck_swiss_army_gunChris Leiter:

You want the best mobile experience?

Get one of every phone. Nexus s, wp7 thing of choice, iPhone 4, blackberry of choice and some duct tape.  That’s an experience. I bet you could play angry birds on it and everything…

Doug Simmons:

I would do just that but then I’d have the longest fruitiest sig of all of you.

Chris Leiter:

Sent from my nexus s tethered to my iPhone 4 via mywi routed through a secondary account that I check on my focus which has ties to the Italian mob. ? Yeah, thats pretty bad.

I’m at a loss for words at how awesome "butt snorkeler" is.

Aaron Peigh:

I have all those phones.  Well not a Nexus S but a Captivate.

Doug Simmons:

I wouldn’t group the Nexus S and the Captivate together too tightly, though the Captivate ain’t nothing to sneeze at.

attsubscriberAaron Peigh:

Is there really and difference between them?  Same screen and chip if  I’m not mistaken.  Once you flash a custom ROM on it its runs super smooth.

Sent from my Samsung Focus Windows Phone

Doug Simmons:

By the way, your sig isn’t descriptive enough. Maybe add that you’ve got NoDo installed and if you want, "Mango coming soon." And why are you leaving out AT&T? Bet you would if AT&T made up about a half a percent of the wireless market. That’s what your sigs are about, all of you and your silly I’m a WP7 apps, just desperate to say hi to your brothers which you cannot do in real life unless you’re in the back corner of an AT&T shop where the WP display is.

Heh, Mango. Fitting for you guys, calling the next disappointing update something fruity.

Patrick:

Own the Focus and reviewed the Nexus S for Samsung a few months back. Both have hardware virtually the same, aside from the Nexus S having NFC and a front VGA camera. Contour glass was an interesting touch as well, but other than that they were near-identical. Android has its perks, WP7 has its perks. I’ll leave it at that in terms of software. Personal opinion and preference are the real differentiators.

lolwutsegway1Jimski:

Zune Pass is pretty awesome, and a revenue grab for the developer, which equates to err, less ads and less invasion of privacy.

Doug Simmons:

Don’t worry you sad prune Microsoft’s working real hard playing catchup to Google in datamining and advertising.

Which reminds me, if I don’t want ads, very effective ad blocker right on the market, both web ads and in-app ads. When Microsoft figures out how to advertise and then gets around to remembering that they have some guys working on their own phone platform and cook up a system to work with it, do you think you’ll be able to install an ad blocker from the market?

mistersquirllycalculatingwindspeedMatt Anderson:

Xbox live integration. A music player that doesn’t suck dick. Don’t recall if nexus had fixed or auto focus. SharePoint. Meh. Either way windows mobile proved that functionality is not the king. Who gives two shits if your phone does "everything" if its a hot fucking mess and a half to do it? =/ Not having to scour a marketplace littered with shit to find a decent app. Os integrated find my phone shit. WiFi sync. Blah blah. It doesn’t fucking matter because Android is a god damn headache. For every problem there is a band aid but its about minimizing problems. And problems are a personal thing when it comes to things like mobile operating systems. I dont think Android is bad, or at least not as bad as a diety damned iphone but I prefer the organization and character of windows phones. And for the last fucking time, sales dont make quality products. How often is the best product of any category the best one that has been made? Never. How many Ferraris do you think get sold every year? Probably more than windows phones but either way it doesn’t change the fact that its a quality product that offers consumers a compelling and unique choice in the market. Would you rather all us windows phoners got iPhones? Not that that’s going to happen but its a question id like to hear you answer.

Sent from something other than an iPhone









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Biographical info.. hmm. I have a history of not being able to strike the balance between what is "safe" to put into these forms and what is, in my mind at least, funny. Can't do it.

(12) Readers Comments

  1. Good article Simmons. Are ad blockers good? And if so, good for who? Not the shmucks paying Google for the ads I bet.

  2. Maybe Google put some thought into this, I think they’ve had enough of an opportunity and I bet that they’ve managed to get at least one smart guy on the squad. I’m thinking maybe they see a net gain by letting such a thing sit plain as day on their market in that those who would install it are the least likely to click on an ad anyway, that ultimately not censoring things like this will lead to a larger base (something’s working, wouldn’t you say), hell maybe they just do it for the irony.

    You think you’ve got it all figured out yet you have no idea — kind of like Job with boils all over his body, puss everywhere, not understanding how things work so just don’t even question it because you’re not capable at your age of understanding how Google makes such calls.

  3. “You think you’ve got it all figured out yet you have no idea”

    Do you?

  4. Sweet. I got the last word and you saved me from having to clean up my grammar, spelling, f-bombs and find pictures. Ads suck dick by the way. If I use it, I buy the app. Its not like there are ads integrated into our mail client or anything.

  5. yss: No, I have a long way to go before I get to that point, but my ratio of what I actually know to what I think I know kicks Jim’s ratio’s ass. I think.

    I’d chime in with Matt on ads fellating but with phone apps I either buy the paid version (seriously, I even will sometimes pay for the donation version if it’s good) or I won’t know if the thing has ads or not because I’m running adfree.

    On my computer I see very few ads because I’ve got adblock and a couple greasemonkey scripts humming stripping both banners and text. Old habit. I only disable that stuff to see, most recently, if Google wouldn’t serve ads to the recently more heavily profanity-laced MDLeaks articles I ran, to see if the ads are working at all and to clock how long the site takes to load. This is the kind of thing that’s regarded with disdain and of course I’d prefer that our audience not all do the same but I’d submit that Joe Adblocker is not to blame for the existence and pervasiveness of adblocking software, rather lousy advertising, the failure to figure out how to advise consumers of something to do with their money without making them want to run an adblocker or dig through the settings to disable “web clips” is the culprit.

    But over time Google and now Binghoo are getting better at this. With awesome innovation in datamining and flagrant 1984 activities we are being presented with ads that are increasingly relevant to our interests. Perhaps if I just turned ten years old today instead of way back when and got my first computer, twenty years from now I wouldn’t be running adblockers.

    Maybe I should declare one day of each month my own little disable the adblockers day so that I can keep an eye out for that day of the adequately polished advertisement finally striking. At least I should disable them on this website, as a gesture to the fellas and also so I can reserve myself the right to write a judgmental rant against our audience for running adblockers without attracting too much heat citing this revelation I’m making right now.

  6. I think at this point, Doug you are just flipping crazy. To repeatedly bash WP7 without ever having used it is plain silly. You are the singlehanded Android equivalent of wmpoweruser. Take that back. You make wmpoweruser seem fair and balanced. It used to be very humorous as well as thought-provoking (only at times). But now shit is getting old Doug. about you get a new schtick or spend some time with WP7 before your next bash. Otherwise, the Simmons Express has flamed out.

  7. :(

    Better hit the drawing board..

  8. @D-Money: You’re a lot more forgiving than me I guess. Simmons shit has been tired and worn out for a long time. He’s can’t give reasons to use Android, so he’s constantly repeating something he read. Hell, borrow someones phone just so you can give the impression you know a little about what you’re ranting. Nope, he won’t do that because he might like it. In his mind it’s better to constantly be a jackass than a hypocrite.

  9. But I don’t know anyone who owns one, nor have I ever even seen someone carrying one even in a dense city after several months during which I have walked around and ridden the subway. Seen thousands, not one of which was WP.

    Moreover, I’ve never said the software is lousy or that the UI is somehow bad or said anything that I’d only be qualified to say, other than predicting that it would flop, without having borrowed or bought one. And I’ve noted on a number of occasions that the people who’ve tried it tend to like it based on what I’ve read and what I’ve watched on youtube.

    If I tried it, I assume I’d end up saying Hey it’s pretty sweet and that it’s too bad so few people will use it, few developers (including Microsoft) and OEMs will end up taking it seriously.

    Cut me some slack.

  10. @Doug Simmons: “Cut me some slack.”

    I do. Probably 75% of what I write is deleted or just not posted. I manage to call you a coward, jackass, fruit, idiot/dumbass, and one-trick pony in 25% of what I write. Just imagine what the other 75% is like.

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