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It’s official: I hate the iPhone!

I’ve never been fan of Apple products. Yes, they are elegantly engineered and designed products. But I don’t like the authoritarian control that Apple asserts over its products and I don’t like the way  it forces me to use its stuff the way they want me to rather than how I want to. Apple puts consumers in a beautifully wrapped box, but it’s still a box!

But I had never had the chance to sink my teeth into an Apple of any sort (no pun intended re: image on right) until I broke down and bought my wife an iPhone yesterday. I’ve spent the last day setting it up for her and learning how it works. To say the least, I was not impressed and don’t understand what the hoo-haa is about.

Of course, there are well-worn criticisms such as no SD card and no replacement battery. And there’s the lame UI (if you want to call it that; really just an app launcher); so little information on the home screen. Speaking of UI, there are a ton of icons that can’t be removed (e.g., Game Center, Utilities), only dragged to the far nether regions of the screens. No readable clock, weather, or detailed calendar (Smooth Calendar rocks). Android has ‘em!

The keyboard sucks IMHO. Any time I want to use punctuation (which is all the time for anyone who is semi-literate), I have to switch to the number keyboard and even then all of the punctuation isn’t available and you have to switch to a punctuation keyboard. Android’s got many different keyboards to choose from including swype and swiftkey.

Let’s talk about that one button. What a pain! What if I don’t want to go back to the home screen? Android enables me to move around my phone with ease.

No easy toggles for Airplane mode, GPS, Wifi, or Bluetooth. Android’s got ‘em!

No Google Navigation, or Google My Tracks, no good language translation, no Google SkyMap.

And there’s no easy way to put a Direct Dial photo icon on the home screen either. With Android, piece of cake.

I have to pay for most of the apps that I wanted on the iPhone. With Android, most are free.

Maybe I haven’t explored the iPhone enough and it does have everything I miss. Maybe once I and, more importantly, my wife get used to it (she came from a Palm Centro!), we’ll love it. I can’t speak for my wife, but I don’t expect to.

I know I could jailbreak the iPhone, but heck, it’s my wife’s phone, not mine. And, by gosh, this is America not China and I should be free to do what I want with anything I buy! With Android, as The Who sing, “I’m free.”

I realize that this is all probably old hat for you long-time iPhone haters, but I just needed to vent and get this out of my system.

I have 30 days to return the iPhone, just outside of the window of when the Atrix arrives. I’m hoping that my wife hates the iPhone as much as I do, so I can make the switch back to my beloved Android.