S Lag, the secret Samsung Galaxy S4 feature

So you ran out and bought your iPhone 4S….eeeer…. Galaxy S4s, rushed home, popped open the box and felt like the king/queen you deserve to be! You’ve got your plastic scepter at you side and there is nothing to stop you from allowing google to know everything about you all over again!

But wait, there’s lag. Not your ordinarily “playing call of duty while downloading transformers 3” lag, the 2008 Android lag. You thought this was a thing of the past, HA! Jokes on us, I thought so too. So this is cutting edge plastic, the fastest any phone has gone before, more cores and rams and features than the US Enterprise could ever hope to see, and yet, there’s lag?

What gives? I’ve played with the SG4 for all of 20 minutes an found it SUPER ANNOYING to see a 3 day old smartphone with nothing on it lag. For crying out loud, even Blackberry’s Z10 had some common decency not to lag.

Who is to blame for this sloppy delivery? It couldn’t be Google, my HTC One runs like a champ, and is currently my new favorite device. It couldn’t be samsung, right? After all, the SG3 and Note II had no lag, surely the latest versions of these phones would be just as smooth?!

I reach out to the readers to do, please, help an old geek like myself understand, what is S Lag and where is it coming from? The dozens upon dozens of forum posts complaining about this can’t be false! Does plastic not dissipate heat?  Oh, before I go, save yourself some headache, do not hard reset your phone, they’ve tried that. Some even tried it 3 times, still lag. o_0