Introspection

@Doug Simmons: Hey me, instead of being such a dick all the time, get off your ass and walk to a phone dealer, grab a display model WinPhone and fiddle with it for a while with an open mind. You’ll probably see that it’s really sweet and that these guys whose balls you keep breaking for no good reason other than that you’re a jerkoff are indeed completely correct, that not only is it a great thing it is not unreasonable for some to call it superior to Android and to defend it accordingly when you barge into their threads trying to start some shit.

Me, what I’m trying to say is just relax, stop being so combative, always thinking it’s everyone versus you. Because if you keep that up it will be everyone versus you. Isn’t it a nice thing that we’re hanging out in a tech-heavy place where not everyone (and these are good people and like you, though with better judgment, are generally pretty smart) on the same phone team is piled up together in a moshpit of mobility vanity like WMPU and, yes, even Phandroid are, and maybe you should take a moment from time to time to show some respect and appreciation in your articles and participation in the articles of your fellow writers to whom, parenthetically, you really ought to show more respect. And write shorter sentences. Your sentences are way too long, it’s ridiculous. What is this, a never ending Dennis Miller impression?

And while you’re at it, maybe consider that there are good things to write about that are unrelated to Google. Okay no, that’s asking too much. But seriously me, wake up and chill out. Yes I know Doug Smith doesn’t pay you but as long as you write on his site he’s really your boss and if he wants to write his dumb articles about hot deals on bluetooths that nobody gives a shit about (can you believe that he doesn’t even get a cut of those sales?) and wishes their adblocker could somehow swat down that crap, it’s not your place to break his balls.

And if Jim wants to use AOL, hey, he’s old, that’s what old people do. Doesn’t hurt you so back off. He’s frail, a bit foggy obviously and can’t even defend himself, don’t be such a bully. We’re lucky to have him writing anything – don’t you keep begging for more writers? Calling Murani a fruit because he wears a bike helmet with girly stickers on it, that strikes you as something you should spend time doing repeatedly? Is this your own little counterproductive way of keeping your fellow writers writing for this site? What’s the matter with you damnit? Maybe you’re not so smart after all. You should probably see my shrink more often, no offense.

And the fact that you’d actually turn this out-loud self-introspection thing about attacking everyone for no good reason into a thinly-veiled attack on Doug Smith, Murani and Jim, … okay well between you and me that was funny, I’ll give you that.

Ours,

Doug Simmons

PS: Stop signing your articles. Look around, you’re the only one doing it. Seriously. If you’re trying to sound egotistical, mission accomplished already without slapping your name on it so it’s there top and bottom. People can tell by the stupid cat pictures that it’s you. Stop that.