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Learn Cantonese, Google Translate!

Google’s wonderful translation service speaks eighty languages. Eighty! Stunning voice synthesizing and speech recognition in both lingual directions too, it’s crazy. Eight languages.

Among those languages is Latin. There are zero native Latin speakers in the world today, and it is estimated that only ten thousand or so speak it fluently as a second language. I would be one of those ten thousand but I didn’t pay attention in Latin class (or any other).

Not among those languages is Cantonese, the 24th most popular language in the world spoken natively by 59 million, in parts of China, most notably Hong Kong, which boasts the highest IQ of the world and various forms of success and handicapped-friendly intersections that beep so annoyingly.


With these kids protesting with their identity crisis of not wanting to be considered Chinese, rather Hongkongers, under the pretext of something to do with democracy, where do we all turn to in order to translate? Well, all these kids know English anyway, but still, you’d think Cantonese would be in Google Translate by now – it isn’t!

There may be some valid excuse for it, but that don’t make it right. C’mon Google.

Doug Simmons


A sample of the ancient Cantonese Art of Paper Folding (wild stuff):






Above, the renowned “Hi Cat” doll sold in Hong Kong’s venerable Anime district



Asians universally regard dog symbolism as the highest form of respect and flattery.