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The Google Chrome Commercial They Should Have Aired

Heard of Google Goggles, right? I knew you can take pictures of churches and wine labels, it does some funky math, but I had no idea how great a booty tool it is. Peep this storyboard:

Scene: Opens with me walking down the beach, looking all buff, rockin’ my Nexus S and Nexus One in either hand, taking pictures of the seagulls, sandcastles and hot chicks.

Oh here’s some honey taking a dip. "Hey lady, I like your hair, be a doll and give me a smile, I want to make this ‘last longer.’ Technically you don’t have to smile and keep in mind that this is a public place making this arguably legal but let’s not get litigious, you know? Just go with it sweetheart."

Hmm, she’s okay looking, not that natural but who is these days. If only I knew her name, then I could use it to try to impress her or at least to look her up to find more pictures of her if things don’t work out… maybe David K or Chris Leiter knows this broad, so I’ll just share the picture and Gmail her their way. Menu button, share…

Hey, nice subtle translucent effect, you see that? Got her legs still and I got buttons. All right there’s my Share button, here below is part of the list of badass things I can do.

Cool, I can FTP it to my server and do a Tineye thing when I’m back home but … Hey wait a second, Google Goggles? Why would I share this with some search thing? Well let’s see what happens if I tap it.

Woah, trippy scan analysis, friggin’ CSI over here, what’s it doing? “Enhance” baby!

Hey, Jackpot! Ashley Ann Vickers, gotchya toots! It algorithmically figured out her name. And not only that I could rate her for other guys taking pictures of her so they know whether or not she’s worth Google Goggling!

So Google Goggles reversed her sweet ass and not only that, I can go straight to her Twitter and tweet at her, maybe suggest that she buy a Nexus like me. Hey she’s got her own website, maybe I could post something in a forum, maybe she’d appreciate some forum traffic. Oh wait, what’s this? Google Image results already laid out for me, didn’t have to type anything in? Well I know what I’m going to tap next…

Heavens to Betsy, that looks like some HTML5 mobile markup sweetness of this Ashley broad! Maybe one of these pictures is better than the one I took. I like pictures, what can I say.

Affirmative, I like this one, better use of depth of field with this shot. Way to deliver for me, Google. Guess I should make her a Gmail account and start writing to her.


Doug Simmons