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Well This Can’t Be Right

Smartasses at the AntiQuant Psychometric Consulting Company up in dumbass Canada thought they’d have themselves a laugh and “conduct a study” pitting IQs of users of the various web browsers against each other. They found that IE users are the dumbest, actually getting dumber over time, and dressed it up in an almost legit-looking PDF.

Oh come on.

The study shows that IE users of versions 6-9 make up the bottom of the stupid curve (80-96 IQ), Firefox, Chrome and Safari in triple digits around 110, Camino, IE with Chrome Frame and at the top Opera hovering impressively around 125 which, if you think about it from an intellectual perspective, is a high number. For those of you who may be too dumb to visualize that, here’s a chart or a graph or whatever you call these things, a bar graph, whatever. Stop patronizing me smartypants. Why don’t you shut up and go take the SAT you candy-ass.

Yeah yeah, I know, the low scores don’t necessarily indicate that IE attracts stupid, rather that stupid doesn’t provoke going out of one’s way to cut down on the degree of stupid mediocrity of one’s digital situation; but if you just said that in your unintellectual head then you just admitted to me right here in front of everyone that IE sucks. That’s logic, bitch. Or maybe Google and Opera spike their Kool-Aid with Ritalin.

So either IE sucks, the people who use it tend to be dumber than the rest (except for those using the Chrome frame, high five fellas), some Canadian kids who bootlegged Adobe Acrobat purporting to be some sort of research operation are just trolling presumably for the lulz, all three or some combination therein. If you’re batshit enough to actually buy this study, the good news is that IE market share continues to decline as it has been for years, so that’s a good sign (except for Microsoft, which perhaps due to excessive corporate stupidity has failed to issue a statement).

Doug Simmons