In a manner no more complicated than installing Winamp, you can install on your lame Windows machine NGINX, PHP, Node.js, MySQL, MongoDB, Redis, memcached and a dozen other goodies, everything you need to get in gear and make some insane websites to host on any platform, with Winginx. Free/donationware by Alexei Shabalin.
Look, the simple installer, it’s crazy!
That exe belongs on your USB stick, chief. Oh hey, did you know the Israelis invented the USB stick? True story. Also the Uzi.