I woke up this morning feeling nice and refreshed for the first time in a few days because my A/C is broken.  So you can imagine how pissed off I got having such a great start subesquently ruined by THIS wmpoweruser.com article.  Now I’m not some perve that gets his rocks off on the go with his mobile device or anything I’m just pissed about what sort of precedent this sets.  With no side-loading apps and all kinds of retarded dev activation hoops this is getting worse by the day.  Microsoft is stomping all over its own reputation for being fairly relaxed in its dictation of software uses but this goes further than I can let slide.

This means I’ll most likely be going Android or something else not iPhone, depending on where WebOS goes, because I’m not doubting we’ll continue to see that being licensed to phones in the future.  Since HP isn’t “getting into the phone business” that still leaves this OS as something that may be licensed should they choose to make the most of their purchase.  There may be hope for WP7 somewhere if Microsoft isn’t telling us the whole story but it seems the more I hear the further I get from the idea that this could be my next phone.  I’m still on the fence but that was a hard shove in one direction.

And why is everyone so scared of nipples?  I just don’t understand it.  Picture of a naked girl with exposed breast=bad but same chick with electrical tape over just her nipples=acceptable somehow.  I say down with the nipple embargo for iPhones, WP7, and American, Bible-thumping, puritanical society as a whole.  If Europe wants to use exposed nipples to sell orange juice and other household prodcuts so be it.  If you want your weather told you by large chesticled women (or shirtless men, because I’m not sexist here) then so be it.  But Microsoft, your wireless carrier, isp, or local governmental authority should not be making that decision for you.  Free the nipples!

30 COMMENTS

  1. This is not about ethics or nipples or maybe even their image (except perhaps relationships with the Chinese — total sell outs with China). This is yet another example of Microsoft doing every 180 they can think of, many of which were at least proven not to hurt by the likes of Apple, in order to secure a successful Hail Mary.

    … more like Fail Mary! badump dump.

    Isn’t it time Matt to remove “most likely” from that line about your mobile plans?

  2. If you’d pardon me I’d like to issue a statement to Microsoft on behalf of Apple: “You’re welcome for sending you that PDF of our entire playbook which we did chiefly out of sympathy for your stunning and embarrassing failure to deliver a successful phone after all these years.”

  3. In their defense at least they’re taking some sort of silly stand at the expense of retarding the growth of their app count into quadruple digits.

  4. And I’m with Matt on this. Not because I have any intention to download any porn apps (I do just fine with my utorrent and vlc remote clients, thank you), but I kind of like it when a company doesn’t go out of its way to try to come up with ways to prune their image to try to appease to the Mothers Against Whatever crowd whether it would effect me or not. I’m not sure but I think Matt may be in the same boat as me on that. And probably most other readers who clicked into this, but maybe that part went over your head.

    For those who do want such porn apps, good luck finding one that doesn’t suck. So to speak.

    Protip for you, yss: When you see “rant” in an article’s category (right up top by the title), don’t be disappointing when you find, as you read further, that the author is actually venting and not necessarily spinning up some satirical masterpiece to impress you. Agree, disagree, go on a tangent, keep scrolling down in search of articles that suit your sophisticated taste better but lay off the insults and tone down the attitude. Or go to Slate if we’re letting you down too much.

  5. @Doug Simmons: Maybe you should keep your tips to yourself. Comments aren’t welcome; don’t have a comment system. His rant is much ado about nothing.

  6. The ‘precedent it sets’? They aren’t filtering your phone. Go use the web…use RSS…get the porn on your phone how you want to (really, porn on a phone? where, in the subway? small screen- maybe good for midget porn:)). It’s not setting a precedent. It’s a single rule – no porn in apps. You can still look at whatever stuff you’re into on your phone – just no playboy model app for WP7. Based on the number of porn apps I have on my phone (0) I couldn’t care less about this.

  7. @David – Always thinking about the boobies aye? And yes, it is about precedent. Taking a step forward and blocking one sort of legal content is a bad road to go down. Censorship is not cool at all in my mind. Like I said, it’s not about the porn. Its about the morality and principle of me purchasing a product and the manufacturer of said product telling me how I should use it. I’ll be damned if I’m going to give a company my money for something that they tell me how to use. I understand if they want to control the content of the App store. So be it. I’m not asking them to taint their marketplace with taint. I’m asking for side-loading. I’m asking for dev mode. I’m asking for control of what I purchased. So screw those dictatorial douche bags.

  8. I’m with DavidK on this. I’m hoping that this is some form of satire and you’re not really serious. Any device that either connects to the web or runs some type of video can deliver porn. Stop being so lazy. Next you’ll complain that your phone doesn’t vibrate with the porn and you have to use your hand.

  9. By the way, this is just the tip (for your ‘precedent’ line). Check Section 3 of the App certification requirements and you’ll see how broadly the limitations are. Maybe you want to follow up about drug use too? I would say 3.5 may preclude GTA

  10. Yeah that seems even worse than what I thought. This is pretty broad. I’m getting even more turned off by this, but then again I’m not worried about a five year old getting a hold of my phone. I’m a big boy with no parental responsibilities. Yay for me!

  11. I think in the end if you pick up your phone right now and count the number of ‘banned’ apps you have you’ll find a goose egg.

  12. Plus this:
    http://marketplace.windowsphone.com/details.aspx?appId=b2db441f-e899-4d51-973e-559590442f18&retURL=/categories.aspx?categoryId=50068

    so don’t give me that bullshit about morality and boobs. This is not about boobs. It is about unrestricted use of my phone. And I have plenty of things on my phone that Microsoft would not like me to have. For god sakes I’m running 6.5.3 on my Fuze. That alone is completely not kosher according to terms of service. I just want to see that kind of attitude going forward. Not Apple’s attitude.

  13. I don’t want to be the bearer…oh yes I do. The TOS for 6.5 and 7 are exactly the same in terms of content. That app would be permitted. There’s also an odd video/asian/youtube app thing in marketplace currently (the whole app makes no sense) but that would be permitted in 7 also

  14. I’m not saying the policies are different I’m saying it’s a ridiculous policy in general. Like I said in the article, how the hell is this not sexually suggestive? It’s just hypocritical. And again, I’m not asking for porn. I’m asking for side-loading. Like we have now. I’m asking to preserve functionality that I currently enjoy and employ on my mobile device.

  15. Side loading is different. It makes sense for them to do what they’re doing for now. For a mass audience they need to control apps to make the experience the best. Apps ruin phones. Skyfire used to stay active in the background and kill my battery. People don’t blame the app – they blame the phone. MS is making the core experience good and to do that they need to control apps. I think they’re dead wrong on not using native code for some devs but that will go away shortly.

  16. Justifying yourself with stupid people’s misunderstanding of technology is not a great way to argue, but I understand your point. My point is I’m not retarded. Thank god for microsoft making a great core experience, but this is not something that takes a lot of effort. And yes it’s about side loading. If they censor their app store thats cool with me. I really don’t mind and like I said it’s probably a good thing. But it doesn’t mean you have to control what apps people can and can not install on a device. This is apple’s way of providing security for their desktops. I can’t even begin to agree with that line of thinking. It’s just BS. How dare they limit my functionality based on what THEY think my level of knowledge and understanding is. And I’m not going to shell out a 100 dollars to unlock my shit either.

  17. One real bad part of 6.5 is that apps continue to run even after you hit ‘x’ because most people think they want them minimized – they often don’t. This is reality. If you suspend the app but keep background services I’m find with that. As to what apps exist? Same thing. Take an app like that DLNA thing. The freaking thing runs as a background process, keeps wifi on at all times and gives you no indication that this is happening. Meanwhile my phone is down to 10% power in a few hours and I don’t know why. I’m a big boy and can figure it out but 99% of the population doesn’t know what a Gizmodo is or what Engadget is about…we’re outside of the norm.

  18. Thank god. The norm is stupid and fickle bunch of iPhone users. A scalable user interface is as simple as a switch away. Pop into an android phone sometime and look at the settings menu. Options include things like: Do you want to install non-marketplace apps on your phone? Very easy yes or no, are-you-stupid sort of option for users to make. And that 99% of people is more like 85% from what I’ve seen at Best Buy. 85% of people are too stupid to figure out product manuals are even know what that setting does, thus protecting the sanctity and virginity of your sweet little WP7. I want the option for my phone to grow up and pop that bitches cherry all over your face.

  19. Matt, the 85% are also the type to sue because their coffee was hot or the butter at AMC was hot. Peggy Sue will sue MS when little Billy click the option and downloads virtual valerie mobile. The tech world will eat it up because it’s cool to hate MS.

    I’m betting there will be something that will disable some flag on the phone, bitch about how I might be violating the TOS, and go about on it’s merry way.

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