What boggles my mind more than North Korea? I don’t know, maybe magnets?

North Korea, known for being a mixture of insanely antagonistic, marching like the Radio City Rockettes and starving to death, also for not having Internet, also only allowing citizens televisions that only tune in North Korea 3G Capabiltiiesto three state-run television channels with a tamper sticker that if you remove in an effort to modify the television to get either Chinese or South Korean television stations you and your whole family (I’m not making this up) are liable to spend the rest of your suddenly-even-shorter lives in one of their many concentration camps, is planning .. wait sorry this sentence is way too long even for me, I’m starting over in a new paragraph:

Possibly as a result of North Korean missile launches, nuclear weapons testing and reports of increasing pervasiveness of cannibalism, also possibly because Eric Schmidt went there and blogged about it (as did his daughter, who by the way is pretty smart), they are bragging about a spike in tourism (of apparent rubberneckers) and are trying to spike it higher by being more accommodating. Even though we’re all their sworn enemy, with Americans at the top of their list, if you decide it’s actually a good idea to go to North Korea, you might now be able to bring your cell phones with you and get mobile Internet, soon at 3G speeds!

As for their citizens, no soup for you (figuratively and literally…). About 4% of them might have cell phones, but no web and no international calling, especially to South Korea, on a 3G-capable network set up by Egyptian mobile carrier Orascom. As for what the hell Egyptian telecoms are doing 5000 miles away in North Korea, no idea. I guess they have some sort of expertise to share in preventing citizens from communicating?

Doug Simmons

10 COMMENTS

  1. Liking your own facebook statuses huh Simmons? Feel provoked? Well what about: your articles are the most interesting reads on this site, obviously.

  2. If you want to really bring North Korea up to speed they need to drop a few crates of Android powered phones throughout the area. Use Google Maps to pinpoint all the positions and get a “Street View” brigade to get eyes on the ground. That’ll show them.

  3. Damnit not one comment praising my juxtaposition of female NK soldiers marching doing the high leg thing, all serious-like, with the Rockettes. Brilliant OC right there.

    And as you can tell by my high caliber shoops, yes I do use the GIMP and not a bootlegged copy of Photoshop like the rest of you. Actually I do use Photoshop when I need to go CMYK on your asses but it’s okay, I edited my hosts file and always use double Tor layers.

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    • This, Abbie saying she actually wants to quote Simmons from MobilityDigest on her blog, is what we in the biz call a false negative, or in IT lingo, “spam filter fail lol.”

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