Smartasses at the AntiQuant Psychometric Consulting Company up in dumbass Canada thought they’d have themselves a laugh and “conduct a study” pitting IQs of users of the various web browsers against each other. They found that IE users are the dumbest, actually getting dumber over time, and dressed it up in an almost legit-looking PDF.

Oh come on.

The study shows that IE users of versions 6-9 make up the bottom of the stupid curve (80-96 IQ), Firefox, Chrome and Safari in triple digits around 110, Camino, IE with Chrome Frame and at the top Opera hovering impressively around 125 which, if you think about it from an intellectual perspective, is a high number. For those of you who may be too dumb to visualize that, here’s a chart or a graph or whatever you call these things, a bar graph, whatever. Stop patronizing me smartypants. Why don’t you shut up and go take the SAT you candy-ass.

Yeah yeah, I know, the low scores don’t necessarily indicate that IE attracts stupid, rather that stupid doesn’t provoke going out of one’s way to cut down on the degree of stupid mediocrity of one’s digital situation; but if you just said that in your unintellectual head then you just admitted to me right here in front of everyone that IE sucks. That’s logic, bitch. Or maybe Google and Opera spike their Kool-Aid with Ritalin.

So either IE sucks, the people who use it tend to be dumber than the rest (except for those using the Chrome frame, high five fellas), some Canadian kids who bootlegged Adobe Acrobat purporting to be some sort of research operation are just trolling presumably for the lulz, all three or some combination therein. If you’re batshit enough to actually buy this study, the good news is that IE market share continues to decline as it has been for years, so that’s a good sign (except for Microsoft, which perhaps due to excessive corporate stupidity has failed to issue a statement).

Doug Simmons

12 COMMENTS

  1. Cheers from a long time Opera user. I wish I knew my IQ score. Actually, I don’t give a flying… duck.

  2. Oh really Opera Man? If you actually used Opera then you’d know that ducks can’t (or choose not to) fly.

  3. “the good news is that IE market share continues to decline ”

    Stop with your biased opinion. I use Internet Explorer 9 and it’s a good browser.

  4. Doug, I know you’re a smart guy, so you must have made a mistake in saying ducks can’ fly. Because they can. Chickens can’t. There is no reason for them to fly if there is plenty of food available or the temperature is to their liking.

  5. I want to know if ladies using IE with lower IQ but with bigger tits? You know how it is, the ying and yang. I will take them over FF/Chrome/Safari, etc. users any day.

  6. I guess it works the other way around too. If you don’t know your IQ, you can calculate it from your browser choice. And if you use more than one browser, you should just add the numbers.
    I’m fairly lucky here – as stated before, I actually use more than one browser, so my IQ adds up to 435 :-D

  7. “the good news is that IE market share continues to decline ”

    Stop with your biased opinion. I use Internet Explorer 9 and it’s a good browser.

    Brianna, what are you referring to, that it is biased opinion that IE’s popularity declining or that that its declining is good news? If you’ll entertain the notion that IE is indeed declining, any idea why and why all these people doing the IE exodus are making a mistake?

    Well I suppose the statistics depend on who’s doing the measuring. For example, I’m sure IE is relatively popular on the Google Chrome download site.

  8. I done been using IE for as long as I can rekon and I ain’t nevers had no trouble with it! Well, excepting fur IE9 what messes with my fonts.

  9. Nice JimB.

    While it’s okay to let loose and have a little fun when I crank out one of the Sunday articles, just remember that, as Brianna effectively demonstrated, that you have the option to be a wet blanket and shouldn’t succumb to any peer pressure you may feel not to be a Debbie Downer, Negative Nancy or a Boring Bonnie who poops in parties and rains on parades.

  10. Maybe if both IE and the people who use it weren’t so slow it wouldn’t have taken them days to figure that out and track down the BBC’s contact info.

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