noEvilNoFunLast June, my local independent TV station ran an article on their website about people falling for “Windows Tech Support” scams.  These are the ones where they call you up out of the blue, and say, “Your computer is reporting it has a virus. Please go to such-and-such a website, and we’ll help you clean it up.”  Of course, they’re really infecting your computer and then hit you up for money to “fix” it.

So first, a reminder for the holiday season: Microsoft will NOT call you out of the blue and say you’ve got a problem.  Please, please, please be sure to check out Microsoft’s Safety & Security Center. Forewarned is forearmed.

Now for the evil plan. I just got exactly that kind of call.  They would “call back.”  What, oh dear readers, should I do to yank their chains when next time they call???  C’mon, let’s have some Holiday FUN!


  1. If you dial that number, you will hear something like to make sure you dialed correct number or something like that. I also experienced similar a couple of months back. that dude claimed he was form Microsoft. here is the entire script for your entertainment.

    Yes, couple of months back I also got a call from some random number saying my computer got affected. Well I was running Windows CP. And he claimed that he was calling from Microsoft to attend issue. I said I never called Microsoft and complained. He said “No sir, your system is talking Microsoft and sending us a lot malware, let us fix the computer.” I told him I asked him then what was the version and build number of the OS that was spamming Microsoft servers.Then I asked him his Microsoft ID. He said he couldn’t disclose. I knew this was some junk guy from the beginning. I said “screw you, you called a Microsoftie.” Of course I lied, just wanted to make fun out of this cheater. He said I was not Microsoft employee and asked my ID. I said you disclose your ID, I will disclose my ID, or just give me your manager name and I will give mine. He got confused for a second and didn’t want to accept his defeat. He again said “No sir, you are not employee of Microsoft.” I said “well if I am not Microsoftie, then you are also obviously not.” He said “I am from Microsoft. and no sir, your systems are sending malware to our systems.” I said screw you. I know you are calling from India and wanted to terrorize me so that you could steal some $ every month, and I know this from the beginning. He said “no I am not.” I said “Man, I am an Indian American, and I can make out from your accent and your number. And moreover I am an IT dude. If I dial back the same number, it will tell me that number is a wrong number, what are you hiding. Just ask for my credit card number, so you could make your day.” He just clicked. LOL.

  2. Just tell him you write malware for a living and are glad to hear that Microsoft is finally taking notice. Hey, they might offer you a job.

  3. I got harassed by these dudes from India, for almost an entire month!!! At first I fell for it, then again it was 6 in the morning, and I was trying to sleep in as much as I could on my day off. To make a long story short i caught on haf way into the process of him showing me the “virus alerts”, and trying to get the “anti-virus” software installed. I wasted about 30 minutes of his time, by asking totaly random, and really hard question that only a computer geek would know, in the end I told him I knew how to fix those kinds of problems, and that I didn’t need any help, and he just told me to fuck off, and hung up on me. They kept on bugging for a the rest of the month, almost on the daily bases. The calls stopped, when I told them that I knew what was up, and that I had contacted the authorities in India. I would suggest wasting their time, for as long as possible, and then telling them you’re an expert technician. Try to keep them from infecting other by wasting their time.

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